The Lexapro Dance
My Journey of Mental Health & Wellness
If you are anything like me and have dealt with a rollercoaster of emotions and struggles with regard to your mental health, I have deep empathy for you. We all have experiences occasionally with mental health struggles, but some of us deal with it more than others.
Some of you, like me, have been in a place where you can’t get out of the bed. Some of you, like me, have watched the same shows on repeat to keep some rhythm of comfort and routine. Some of you, like me, have had moments of crisis when you knew you couldn’t be left alone. Some of you, like me, have wondered if there was ever a light at the end of the longest fucking tunnel in the world. If you, like me, have experienced this — and whether you have reached that light at the end of the tunnel yet or not — I hear you and I see you. Life, for so many of us can often just feel like a waste of time. A Coma, for many of us, would have seemed much more pleasurable than living life in the gutter. For many, the loneliness of the world gets to us. Life feels like a long, drawn-out case of tinnitus and confusion
But there is hope.
Hope comes in so many forms, especially for those who don’t see a reason to live. The smallest glimpse of hope can heal the unwell. When I have struggled with one of my many mental health crises, I have found hope in those who give a listening ear. I find hope in those who trust that my feelings are valid and that my experiences are true. I find hope in incremental changes in my life that allow me to take control of the steering wheel once again. I find hope in the communion of others who also struggle with their mental health.
If you struggle with our mental health, where do you find hope? Where could you find hope if you searched? Are there resources out there that may be able to help you?
Medicine can help or harm, but it is certainly worth a try.
Over the course of my mental health journey, I have been medicated in many different ways. I have self-medicated through nicotene usage. (That, my friends, does not help anxiety or depression in the long run. Trust, me.) I have self-medicated through alcohol. (Not a good option!) I have self-medicated through Marijuana. (eh) Generally, all of the self-medication options help to a point, but end up causing harm. In my experience, that even goes for Marijuana (which I still think should be legal..) Most recently, I had been on Prozac, which helped a bit, but then I moved to Lexapro, which I am currently on and has helped me tremendously. For many people, medications don’t work. For many people, they are a life-saver. In my experience, lexapro has given me the ability to see the sunshine and appreciate it again.
Medication can be great, whether self-given or prescribed by a doctor, but with a fat caveat, though.
The root of the problem
All of our problems, even on medication, are deeply rooted somewhere inside us. For me, a lot of my trauma from homophobia and childhood bullying were pushed down and locked out of my memory. I had sealed those ugly memories in the vault of pain and intentionally forgotten the combination. That’s where so many of our problems arise. Even though we’ve locked up the pain, it manifests in our behavior, our emotional immaturity, our relationship dynamics, our thoughts, and especially the way we treat ourselves and others. Medicate or not, but a definite need is therapy. We all need a listening ear — especially a professional one.
When I began therapy, my sessions would begin with me trying to give a structured answer to everything. I wanted to sound like I had things together in some way, but then my structured, “nothing is wrong” ended up turning into this:
That’s okay, though! This was my way of learning that it was okay to spew out all of my problems. As I learn more about White supremacy culture, I also learn that we have unnaturally taught generations of humans that we should be objective and not share out emotions and bodily energy with others. This is what leads to the meme above! My family and I, although we are learning, STILL don’t share our feelings with one another the way that we should. Anyway, therapy for me has been therapeutic. I really hope that someday, the stigma will be eliminated, and access will be improved so that EVERYONE can go to therapy.
Now, as I write this, I just sat down from what I call my Lexapro dance. Yes, I am so happy in this moment of life that I dance when I take my Lexapro. Isn’t that fun? I don’t know who is reading this article and I don’t know what situation you find yourself in, but I want you to be well. I want you to be well because I know what it is like to not be well. My journey isn’t over yet. Yours isn’t, either! I am going to post some mental health resources below and I hope that you can use what you need. Plus, if you need someone to talk to or you don’t know where to turn, I want to help you get the best help you can get so that YOU can do a lexapro (it doesn’t have to be lexapro) dance, too.
✦WELLNESS and CRISIS RESOURCES✦
Anxiety check
Anxiety Test — Online Self-Assessment Quiz | Aetna
Depression Check
Depression Test — Online Self-Assessment Quiz | Aetna
Crisis Resources
If you or someone you care about is experiencing a crisis, the following hotlines can help you locate trained counselors, information, and other resources.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
988
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a free, anonymous resource for anyone who is dealing with suicidal thoughts or behaviors. By calling or visiting the site to access their online chat service, you can talk to a specially trained counselor who understand how to care for you.
Crisis Text Line
Text LGBTQ to 741–741
Texting the Crisis Text Line will connect you to a crisis counselor who can offer support. This resource is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
The Trevor Project
1–866–488–7386 or text START to 678–678
The Trevor Project is the world’s largest crisis intervention organization for LGBTQ+ young people under the age of 25. You can reach them by phone, text, or chat 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
Trans Lifeline
1–877–565–8860
Trans Lifeline is a service devoted to offering care and support to transgender people. It provides peer support from a place of experience since the organization is staffed by trans individuals.
LGBT National Hotline
1–888–843–4564
The LGBT National Hotline is for people of all ages and offers a confidential, anonymous place to talk about issues including coming out, identity, bullying, safe sex, anxiety, and other concerns.
Online Resources
There are also a number of organizations that provide resources, education, and other services online. Some of these include:
Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network (GLSEN): Student Action
Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network (GLSEN) is an organization that offers information designed to help students take action and initiate changes in their schools and communities. Students who are interested in starting a Gender and Sexuality Alliance in their school can register to find resources and learn more about how student-led movements can help foster more inclusive schools for all students.
A 2014 study found that schools with anti-homophobia groups such as gay-straight alliances (GSAs) significantly reduced the risk of suicidal thoughts among both LGBTQ+ students and straight students.2
GLMA Health Professionals Advancing LGBT Equality
GLMA Health Professionals Advancing LGBT Equality is an organization that works to connect people who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender with welcoming healthcare providers. You can visit the site to search their provider directory to find healthcare professionals in your area.
True Colors United
The True Colors United focuses on ending homelessness among LGBTQ+ youth. In addition to providing learning resources and advocacy, they also provide fundraising guides for those interested in raising money to support LGBTQ+ youth.
Therapy Services
There are also therapy services that specialize in treating LGBTQ+ individuals. Online therapy, in particular, is an increasingly important way for people to access affirming therapy that is sensitive to the needs of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, and questioning people.
Pride Institute
Pride Institute offers inclusive recovery programs for LGBTQ+ people. They offer both residential and outpatient treatment programs for substance use and addiction. This treatment provider also offers a family therapy program, a sexual health program, mental health referrals, and telehealth options.
Pride Counseling
Pride Counseling offers online therapy to members of the LGBTQ+ communities. This service features counselors who not only specialize in helping people who are LGBTQ+, they also have experience with a range of issues including stress, depression, anxiety, sleep problems, trauma, relationships, self-esteem, and interpersonal conflicts.
Support Groups
PFLAG
PFLAG was the first organization devoted to helping parents, families, and allies support LGBTQ+ people. Today, the organization supports a network of more than 400 local chapters found throughout the United States. Through their site, you can locate or even start a local chapter of the support organization.
Q Chat Space
Q Chat Space allows LGBTQ+ teens to participate in online support groups that are professionally facilitated. All members are verified and the facilitators guide conversations and enforce group rules to ensure safety. The site also offers an option for Spanish-speaking LBGTQ+ youth.
Youth Resources
Challenges that teens may face include lack of acceptance from their families and bullying by peers, both of which may play a role in increasing the risk of mental health concerns.
Statistics suggest that LGBTQ+ teens have a higher risk for mental health conditions including anxiety, depression, and substance use.3
The COVID-19 pandemic also took a serious toll on the mental health and well-being of many LGBTQ+ people, particularly young people. In a 2021 report by The Trevor Project, 70% of respondents reported that their mental health was “poor” during the pandemic. Almost half reported that while they wanted mental health care in 2020, they were unable to get it.
Some organizations that offer services specifically for LGBTQ+ youth include:
It Gets Better Project
The It Gets Better Project works to remind LGBTQ+ youth that there is hope and that no matter how things might be now, it does get better. The site offers resources and stories from people all over the world to encourage, uplift, and empower young people and to let them know that they are not alone.
LGBT National Youth Talkline
1–800–246–7743
The LGBT National Youth Talkline, provided by the LGBT National Help Center, is aimed at teens and features trained peer counselors who can offer advice and information on topics such as sexual health, coming out, mental health, and other topics. They also feature a national resource database where you can search for youth groups, community centers, and other support resources in your area.
Love Is Respect
1–866–331–9474
Love Is Respect offers resources for teens about healthy relationships and dating violence. The site has a section specifically for LGBTQ+ teens with information about dating abuse, personal safety, supporting others, and other topics. In addition to providing information about healthy relationships, they also have counselors available to provide support, advice, and education.
The National Runaway Safeline
1–800–786–2929
The National Runaway Safeline works to provide resources and assistance to young people who have run away from home. They also work to help those who feel unsafe in their home or who are thinking of running away. They can provide assistance with transportation, shelter, counseling, and returning home.
✦BLACK MENTAL HEALTH & WELLNESS✦
Black Therapists Rock
With headquarters in Washington, DC, Black Therapists Rock aims to “reverse racial trauma through collective healing.” A book of the same name, authored by 15 Black mental health professionals, debuted in 2018. That effort has blossomed into a Facebook group, a therapist directory, and training events. Black Therapists Rock is a resource for the public and mental health professionals alike.
Therapy for Black Girls
Therapy for Black Girls aims to make therapy more accessible for Black women and lift the veil on mental health in the Black community.
The platform includes a podcast hosted by licensed psychologist Joy Harden Bradford that explores topics such as complex PTSD, Black women and intimate partner violence, and talking to kids about race. Therapy for Black Girls also includes a provider directory, a community called the “sister circle,” and a blog.
Therapy for Black Men
Therapy for Black Men works to change the perception that therapy is a sign of weakness and make therapy easier for Black men and boys to access. It includes a national directory of roughly 150 therapists and 30 coaches (providing help for issues such as relationships, weight loss, and confidence-building) who are equipped to provide culturally competent care to Black men.
The organization also provides financial assistance for economically disadvantaged Black Americans, a blog, and articles about topics such as relationships and triggers.
Therapy in Color
Therapy in Color strives to create spaces for healing with the goal of making sure that Black, Indigenous, and people of color can access psychotherapy by culturally diverse professionals.
Aiming to destigmatize therapy, the organization includes a blog, directory of therapists, and resources to help patients better manage anxiety and other mental health problems. It is the brainchild of licensed psychotherapist Ashley Bryant, who advocates for inclusivity in the mental health realm.
The Black Mental Health Alliance (BMHA)
With a database of Black psychiatrists, a questionnaire to match prospective patients with therapists, and other resources, the Black Mental Health Alliance promotes and organizes educational forums, training, and referral services to support the Black community.
The organization has also provided school-based mental health services, fatherhood initiatives, and after-school programs. BMHA programs and workshops are culturally relevant and address race-based trauma, structural racism, and mental health stigma in the Black community.
Black Mental Wellness
Black Mental Wellness collaborates with community stakeholders to provide culturally relevant educational resources about Black mental health. It offers training opportunities for Black mental health professionals and students interested in pursuing mental health and wellness careers.
The organization also provides fact sheets about mental health problems such as ADHD, anxiety, bipolar disorder, and major depressive disorders.
